Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”
Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”
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Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
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Pathan Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:
Q: What is you father name?
Pathan: Plz Options?
A. Dilawar
B. Changez
C. Feroz
D. Sultan
Pathan: Life line 50/50
A. Dilawar
C. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Pathan: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisko call karengy?
Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!
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Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
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Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”
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Ik nav-vivahit Gujarati girl ki B.Ed exam me first division aati hai.
Uska Gujarati husband excite ho ke apne father-in-law ko sms karta hai:
Aapki beti Bed me first class hai !
English Joke
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A newly married Gujarati girl got first class in B.Ed exam.
Her excited Gujarati husband sent SMS to his father-in-law: Your daughter is first class in Bed !
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Ik navi viahi Gujarati girl di B.Ed exam vich first division aai.
Ohda Gujarati husband excite ho ke apne father-in-law nu sms karda hai: Tuhadi guddi Bed vich first class hai.
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Servant to Maalik: Maalik, Ramu apko gadhe ke barabar bhi nahi samjhta.
Funny Ramu: Nahi maalik, yeh jhooth bol raha hai, mein to samjhta hoon ji.
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A short man was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab ke sab maroge!
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Lady doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Funny Lalu: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am - 11am hai.
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alu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai, to sare eggs tumare, agar batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hain to vo murgi bhi tumari.
Rabri: Lalu Ji, Koi hint do na?
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Jokes Funny SMS in Hindi
Mr Funny apni khoobsurat bivi k saath car mein baith ke honeymoon pe ja raha tha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Mr Funny gusse mein bola, meri bivi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
English translation
Mr Funny was going to honeymoon with his beautiful wife in a car.
Car driver set the mirror.
Mr Funny became angry and said: You are looking at my wife. Sit behind, I'll drive the car.
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Santa ek Sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Funny Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Santa talks to a saint: My wife troubles me a lot. Tell me some way.
Funny saint: Had there been any way, I wouldn't have become a saint.
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ADULT JOKES
Nigger Jokes
A newly wed Nigger wife talks to her husband.
Nigger Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?
Nigger Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.
